Permission to Play: Rediscovering the Joy of the Costume Party

Permission to Play: Rediscovering the Joy of the Costume Party

When the invitation says costume party, take it as permission to play. Go all in, lean into the moment, and wear it like you mean it!

In just a few days, much of America will celebrate Halloween. Children will dress as pirates, princesses, superheroes, and storybook characters — and parents will trail behind, chatting with neighbors as porch lights flicker and candy bowls slowly empty.

For me, Halloween has always been more about fun than fright. I have so many fond memories of neighborhood gatherings — potluck suppers, hayrides, firepits, and lots of laughter on a brisk fall night. But my favorite adult memories? Hands down: costume parties.

Neighborhood Hayride circa 2005

The Year I Under-Dressed (and Learned My Lesson)

We had friends who hosted a Halloween bash for several years, and boy, did everyone go all out. The first year we were invited, my husband and I weren’t quite sure how far to take the “costume” part of the invitation. We played it safe: the classic couples costume — the inmate and the sheriff. I was the sheriff.

When we arrived, it was as if we’d entered another universe. Marie Antoinette was sipping wine by the punch bowl, Elvis Presley was alive and well on the dance floor, and the Queen of Hearts had clearly raided Buckingham Palace. Everyone had gotten the memo — except us.

So, when the next invitation arrived the following year, we knew redemption was in order. This time, we went all in. We showed up as our alter egos, “Skunk and Skunk’s Babe.” The costume, mostly borrowed and collected from Goodwill, consisted of fishnet stockings under torn Daisy Dukes, matching biker vests, fake tattoos, and fake cigarettes. We walked in, and no one recognized us — not even our hosts. It was glorious.

Skunk and Skunk's Babe circa 2009

Fast Forward: The Witchy Comeback

It’s been a while since I’ve attended a costume party, and I’ll admit — I’d lost a little of that old costume mojo. When a friend invited me to a witch-themed bash, I hesitated. New town, new friends, unfamiliar crowd. I thought maybe a Halloween T-shirt and a witch hat would do.

Then I mentioned it to my eighty-one-year-old mother-in-law. She didn’t even blink. “You need to go all out,” she said with the authority of someone who’s seen a lifetime of half-hearted Halloweens.

She was right, of course. A costume party isn’t the time to play it safe — it’s the perfect excuse to try on a persona you’d never dare wear to brunch.

Finding My Inner Fancy Witch

So, I ditched the T-shirt and dove into the closet. There it was: the perfect black dress. A pair of black heels, a hint of inspiration — and then a trip to Walmart for the finishing touches.

A stroll through the Halloween aisle yielded fancy tights, fishnet gloves, an over-the-top headpiece (who needs a witch hat, anyway?), some face glitter, and the boldest green eye makeup I could find.

And just like that, my “fancy witch” was born — elegant, a little mischievous, and definitely more sophisticated than spooky.

The Lesson: Don’t Hold Back

There’s something freeing about putting on a costume — not to hide, but to play. Somewhere between the glitter and the green eyeshadow, I found a version of myself I hadn’t met in a while: someone bold, lighthearted, and a little daring.

So this Halloween — or anytime life hands you an invitation to have fun — take it. Go all in. Be the fancy witch. The world needs more women who know how to make an entrance — and who aren’t afraid to sparkle while they do it.